


Apple of My Eye

by Carmenlire



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Body Positivity, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Head of the Institute Alec Lightwood, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Indulgent, Supportive Magnus Bane, Weight Gain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 21:27:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20298202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmenlire/pseuds/Carmenlire
Summary: He looks back down at himself and it’s only now, with Jace’s words ringing in his head, that he sees it. His abs are less defined than he’s used to, the curve of his abdomen a little more pronounced.Raking a hand through his hair, Alec scowls. Resolutely deciding not to harp on it, he grabs his shirt and starts toward the door.Or, Alec gains a little weight and he's not sure how he feels about it.





	Apple of My Eye

Walking out of their closet, Alec is frowning down at his pants. “Hey, babe?”

Magnus looks up from where he’s still in bed, going through his email on a laptop. He grins over at his husband, deciding in a flash that the sight of Alec without a shirt is infinitely more interesting than whatever request had just popped up in his inbox. “Yes, darling?”

Alec huffs out a breath, equal parts annoyed and confused. “Are these pants too tight?”

Magnus’s gaze drops down to the dress pants. They’re in his husband’s favorite shade of black-- pitch-- and while Alec had managed to button and zip them, they definitely weren’t draping over his figure like they usually did.

Smiling a little, Magnus places his laptop on the bed next to him and stands, walking over to his husband. He has a moment to think that Alec hasn’t realized the little changes that Magnus had started to pick up on a couple of months ago.

Not wanting his husband to dwell on the mystery, Magnus merely wraps one arm around Alec’s shoulders while he allows the other one to sweep down his chest until he can trail a finger across his waistband.

“They must have shrunk in the wash,” he suggests. Raising an eyebrow, he offers, “I can let them out a little for you?”

Alec’s expression doesn’t shift for a moment, frown still marring his brow, but eventually it eases out. “Okay,” he finally says. “Yeah, thanks, babe.”

“Don’t mention it, darling.”

It’s the work of a few seconds to make the pants a little bigger and when he’s done, Magnus hooks a finger in the waistband and tugs Alec closer for a slow kiss, humming appreciatively into it. When they break apart, he’s very gratified to see that his husband looks a little dazed. When Alec turns and starts back toward the closet for a shirt, Magnus can’t resist a playful swat against his backside.

He grins unrepentantly at the glare Alec shoots over his shoulder, laughter breaking out as his husband just fondly shakes his head at his antics.

Turning back to the bed, Magnus pulls the laptop back over and returns to work, setting up a few appointments over the next week. In the back of his mind, though, he can’t help but wonder how his husband will react when he realizes the effect his new lifestyle is starting to have on his waistline.

Catching the staff Jace tosses his way, Alec scoffs as he spins it in an absent grip. “I find it hard to believe that you had to use that much adamas in your mission last week. My budget won’t allow for that kind of flagrant use of materials, even if you are my parabatai. You’ve fucked my budget up for the rest of the quarter.”

Jace just rolls his eyes. “Send me the bill if it’s gonna make you stress out so much. Did I or did I not set a new record for most demons killed on a single mission?”

Settling into a stance, Alec glares. “I don’t give a shit about what records you set. You know that keeping the books is my least favorite part of the job. Don’t make it more annoying than it has to be.”

Jace doesn’t deign to reply, merely lunges forward without warning. A lifetime of sparring with his parabatai has given Alec an intuitive sense, however, and he doesn’t falter, merely tallies back.

They spend a few hours in the training room and by the end of it, they’ve both won as many rounds as they’ve lost.

Done for the afternoon, Alec reaches for the shirt he’d abandoned on a bench, using it to wipe his face. From behind him, he hears Jace snort.

“You’re getting soft, man. You should tell Magnus to lay off the dinner dates in Italy,” he teases.

Turning, Alec glowers, shooting his parabatai a confused look. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Raising his brows, Jace gestures toward Alec’s body. “Now that you’re sitting behind a desk all day, those dates don’t just melt off on patrol.”

Alec looks down at his body before shrugging and rolling his eyes. “I still kicked your ass, though, didn’t I? Fuck off, Jace.”

Raising his arms in a peaceful gesture, his brother just laughs. “Just saying. You’re not looking as trim as you used to. You’ve lost the look of an active shadowhunter.” He shrugs a little. “To be expected, I guess, especially when you have a husband who can summon food from all over the world.”

Alec watches as Jace laughs to himself as if he’s the epitome of wit before he’s grabbing his own shirt and slinging it over his shoulder, heading towards the rack to hang up his staff. He echoes his parabatai’s goodbye when it’s called out and then he’s left alone in the training room.

He looks back down at himself and it’s only now, with Jace’s words ringing in his head, that he sees it. His abs are less defined than he’s used to, the curve of his abdomen a little more pronounced. Raking a hand through his hair, Alec scowls. Resolutely deciding not to harp on it, he grabs his shirt and starts toward the door.

It’s not even a conscious decision to throw his shirt on before he leaves the room when before, he wouldn’t have thought twice about striding out to OPs in just his sweatpants, obviously fresh from training.

A few days later, Alec’s standing in front of the mirror in their bedroom, studying himself. He likes to think that he’s not particularly vain-- he’ll leave that to his siblings-- but he can’t contain the scowl that comes over his face as he sees what Jace was referring to back at the Institute.

Now that things have calmed down considerably, most of Alec’s time is spent in his office, plowing through paperwork or banging his head quietly against his desk as he joins countless conference calls. Most Heads of the Institute are off active duty and now that he looks at himself, Alec can see that his excesses are catching up with him.

Neither he nor Magnus are great cooks and add to that the fact that their lives are a constant humdrum of activity and they eat a lot of takeout-- along with their fair share of international dates where Alec’s sweet tooth finds its home in trying different desserts.

Biting his lip as he looks at his reflection, Alec now sees that he’s definitely gained weight over the past few months. The truth is, he’s never had to think about what he eats. When he was a teenager and then on rotation, he spent most of his days training and it was harder to keep the weight on than it was to burn it off. He never had a second thought about finishing his pasta or indulging in a second slice of cake.

Now, though, he sees that it’s catching up to him. He’s still fit, still works out several times a week-- either by himself to release some tension or sparring with Jace-- but it’s obvious that it’s not enough to balance out everything else.

And it’s stupid, but now that Alec’s noticed it, he can’t stop. There are curves where there used to be sharp lines, softness where there used to be muscle. Turning so that his side is reflected, Alec brings a hand up and pokes his stomach, frowning when flesh gives.

He’s startled at the sound of a portal opening up in the living room and he quickly rushes to throw his discarded hoodie on, working hard to appear like he’s doing quite literally anything else than checking himself out.

Alec doesn’t know _why_ it’s affecting him so much but he doesn’t want Magnus to know that maybe, perhaps-- Alec cares more about his appearance than he likes to let on.

But then a thought pops up and he’s disconcerted all over again as he wonders if his husband has noticed his changing body. With mounting horror-- and the rational part of Alec’s mind is rolling its eyes at his theatrics-- he wonders if Magnus has been judging him. He can’t help but cast his mind to his husband’s body and its perfection and find his own falling short.

He looks up as Magnus strolls into the bedroom, finds himself smiling as his husband walks over to him and wraps his arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss in greeting that starts perfunctory but quickly grows all-consuming.

Alec tries to lose himself in the kiss but his mind is racing as he tries to think back. Has their sex life faltered lately? He _thinks_ everything’s remained steady but doubt starts to creep in and not even his husband’s hands on his ass are enough to make him stop thinking.

When Magnus’s mouth moves away from his and down to his neck, nibbling and biting and soothing, Alec tilts his head on autopilot but it must not be enough because then Magnus is pulling back. Breathing harshly, he looks up to meet Alec’s eyes with a teasing grin. “Darling, I’m doing some of my best work here and I can hear you thinking a mile away. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

Shaking his head a little, Alec’s blurting out his thoughts before he has a moment to reign them in. “Are you still attracted to me?”

Looking nonplussed, Alec watches as Magnus arches a brow and opens his mouth before he bites back what was no doubt a flippant rejoinder. Instead, his husband’s face grows serious, though the fondness in his eyes doesn’t fade. “Of course I’m attracted to you, Alexander. Not only am I madly in love with you but have you seen yourself? You make my mouth water, darling.” He frowns. “Where is this coming from?”

Sighing, Alec rakes a hand through his hair before his gaze turns downward. He feels a warm flush crawl up his neck and into his cheeks as he mutters, “I’ve gained weight.”

“And?”

Eyes snapping up to meet Magnus’s, Alec sees confusion in his husband’s gaze. Behind that, though, is dawning realization and a sort of overwhelming softness.

Alec scowls. “My body isn’t what you’re used to.”

Magnus shifts closer, hooks his fingers into Alec’s pockets. “It’s still your body, darling, and I still find it irresistible.” He shrugs. “So, you’ve gained a few pounds. What? Is that supposed to change how you make me feel?”

Sighing because Magnus just isn’t getting it, Alec tries to feed him his lines. “Don’t you see,” he asks, growing frustrated by his husband playing dumb. He pulls back enough to pull the hoodie over his head, tossing it on the floor next to them. “I’m not as fit as I was when we first met.”

He points to his stomach, gestures to his arms that aren’t quite as toned as before. “This isn’t the same body you drooled over in the training room all those months ago. You can’t tell me that you aren’t disappointed that I-- that I’ve let myself go.”

Magnus’s gaze grows fierce at the words as he lays his hands over Alec’s chest. “You haven’t let yourself go at all, Alec. You were superhumanly fit and now you’re a little less so. I still think you’re beautiful, darling, and I do believe I was well on my way to ravishing you just a few minutes ago.” He smiles, just a little. “It’s a statement of fact that you’re one of the most attractive men I’ve ever seen, visible six pack or no.”

Some of Alec’s self-consciousness abates at the words but he can’t help but point out, “Look at you, though.”

Magnus’s expression grows baffled. “Me?”

“Yeah,” Alec replies shortly. “You look like you were sculpted by the gods. Don’t you want a partner who looks the same?”

His husband stares at him blankly for a moment before realization flares bright. He shakes his head, gently chiding. “What hogwash, darling. I work out because I like my body the way it is and because it gives me better control over my magic. I’d never expect anyone I was with to conform to the expectations and preferences I have for myself, though.”

Moving closer, Magnus grips Alec’s chin and brings his head up until their eyes meet. He opens his mouth only to abrupt close it before bringing Alec in for a lingering kiss that soothes away a considerable amount of his turmoil. When Magnus breaks the kiss, he only does so to dust half a dozen pecks along his cheeks, over his nose.

“I’ve been alive for centuries, darling,” he murmurs. “Standards of beauty fade in and out with all the temerity of the ocean. I love the curve of your hips and the-- very slight, may I point out-- roundness of your stomach just as much as I do the cut of muscle. In any and all forms, you’re utterly gorgeous to me, Alexander. I do think, however, that you are more affected by a little weight gain because you, yourself, have an idea of what you should look like and your body is changing on you. You’re used to being a big, strong shadowhunter and your life has changed considerably in the past few months. Is it possible that the physical signs of that change are hitting you harder than the actual weight?”

Alec pauses to carefully consider Magnus’s words, frowning in thought.

It does make a certain kind of sense, he supposes. Alec’s never been one to judge someone on something so asinine as their body and while he has an appreciation for fine clothes and fit, he’s never given much thought to his own body either.

With a sigh, he considers the idea that maybe, just maybe, the realization that he wasn’t an active shadowhunter anymore was bothering him. It’s what he’s been groomed for since infancy but it’s a startling change, all the same.

“That’s not a terrible idea,” he begrudgingly replies.

Magnus brightens. “It’s your body and I love anything and everything to do with it. It’s _your body_, though, Alexander, and it’s much more important for you to feel comfortable in your own skin. Trim down or grow a little more lax, it’s all whatever makes you feel best. All that matters to me is that you are happy and healthy, darling.”

For the first time all day, Alec relaxes. He melts into his husband as he tucks his face against Magnus’s neck. “I think I’m okay with where I’m at,” he says, voice muffled. “I can still kick Jace’s ass when we spar and, to tell you the truth, working out ten hours a day is exhausting as hell.”

He hears Magnus’s huff of laughter as he runs a rand through his hair. “And you do love your sweets.”

“Yeah,” Alec breathes. “It would suck if I couldn’t have dessert anymore.”

Taking a step back, Alec blindly follows his husband as he starts mouthing at his neck until he finds himself falling onto his back in their bed. Magnus looms over him, grinning while casting blatantly appreciative eyes over him.

Running his hands over his chest, Magnus hums in appreciation. “Now,” he starts lowly. “I do believe it’s time I back up my words with action, don’t you?”

Without waiting for a response, he ducks low, kissing over Alec’s stomach, biting into the soft flesh. Alec gasps as his husband makes quick work of the rest of his clothes, his last thought before he stops thinking altogether is wondering why he was so worried in the first place.

A few months later, Alec and Magnus are spending the day shopping and it’s far from the tedious day he’d imagined. The truth is, Alec likes shopping and it’s even better when he gets to spend that time with his husband.

Alec’s weight had steadied and when he’d went in for his yearly physical at the infirmary, he’d compared last year’s weight to now only to realize he’d gained a little over a stone. Still, he’s kept active with training and sparring-- still regularly besting Izzy and Jace-- and he’d passed the annual shadowhunter test with flying colors.

He’d found that he still likes being active and working out several times a week, eating a little cleaner than he had as a teenager.

It’s just that he _also_ happens to buy the next size up in clothing while indulging in his biggest weakness: gelato.

Well, Alec thinks with a grin as Magnus ducks into his dressing room, eyeing his mostly naked body clad only in a pair of underwear. His second biggest weakness.

**Author's Note:**

> catch me on tumblr or twitter @carmenlire!


End file.
